Bollywood Tropes – A Layman’s Guide to Making a Super-Hit Bollywood Movie

Bollywood Tropes – In This Day And Age of Mindless Movies Corrupting India, How Do You Make a Successful Bollywood Movie?

Bollywood Tropes

With substandard and appalling movies like Judwaa 2 entering the 100 Crore Club while talented films like Newton still struggles to find a fanbase, Bollywood has time and again proved to us that a good story with brilliant acting doesn’t count if you don’t have a Khan or a Kapoor starring in it. Also, at least one item song with a half-naked woman dancing sensuously is required for attracting the Indian filmgoer’s attention. So, what does it take to make a successful (collection-wise, not content) movie in B-Town?

With that in mind, a Quoran has written in detail a layman’s guide to making a successful Bollywood movie. Here’s what you need:

=> Before You Make Your Blockbuster – Bollywood Tropes

1. Look for an already hit movie from your father’s era.
2. Look for an already super-hit song from your father’s era.
3. Look for the children of any megastar from your father’s era.
4. Look for a few popular dialogues from the movies of your father’s era.
5. Look for Sunny Leone, because she wasn’t there in your father’s era.

 

=> How To Make Your Blockbuster – Bollywood Tropes

1. Look for a Hollywood/South Indian/Korean/Utopian movie.
2. Remove the extra characters to save money until only the Hero & Heroine remain.
3. Make sure that the Hero & Heroine are never on the same page from the beginning (He is poor, she is rich/both are from different castes/religion/region/race etc.)

**Bonus — Introduce an item song here (preferably by Sunny Leone)

4. The lead pair fight/ they come together/ they separate/ they come back together.
5. Enters the bad guy with an overly exaggerated dialogue and walks in slow motion; with a gun in his right hand, a burning cigarette in the left and a huge explosion going off in the back.
   ***Bonus — Introduce another item song here (preferably by an actress who just finished shooting for Big Boss and is getting no acting jobs)
6. The villain takes the girl, beats up the Hero to a pulp with his bare hands and leaves him broken and hurt.
7. Introduce a little cute kid, who is probably the niece or nephew of the Hero or Heroine, and helps the broken dude get his shit together.
   ***Bonus — Introduce a slow, sad song here (Sufi song preferred which will be the only quality thing in the movie)
   
8. The Hero fights through a plethora of goons including some seriously over the top action giving zero ef’s to the laws of physics.
9. Hero saves the Heroine, is about to kiss her, but stops as he sees the cute kid. The cute kid laughs affably, closes his/her eyes and the Hero goes ahead to complete his job before giving a pathetic dialogue to end the movie.
10. Roll Credits and introduce another item song (this time by a foreigner trying to make it big in Bollywood) which will do a better job at making the audience sit through the credits than Marvel.

 

=> How To Promote Your Blockbuster (Very Important) – Bollywood Tropes

1. Release a fantastic trailer which will give an entirely different idea about the movie to the audience.
2. Pay a lot to social media sites like Scoopwhoop to come up with articles like — 10 things about Hero-Heroine’s chemistry from this movie which are giving us serious relationship goals.
3. Make the Hero-Heroine pair go on a promotional tour across prominent institutes in the country. Make them do signature dance steps at various colleges to attract the millennial.
4. Make the Hero-Heroine say outrageous statements like— “This movie is the next Inception.”
5. Make a scene from the trailer a meme on the internet and enjoy some free promotions.
6. Let the Hero-Heroine’s father/mother, who was/is already a megastar, come out to endorse their son’s/daughter’s movie and tell how hard he/she had worked to make it big.
7. If there isn’t enough buzz created yet, let the Hero/ Heroine come out about how they battled depression, (which actually happened that one time when their father refused to buy them a new Merc).
8. Make the Hero/Heroine visit Kashi Vishwanath Temple/Ajmer Dargah/ Golden Temple/ Bombay Jesus Church to pray for the success of the movie.
9. Let the Hero/ Heroine recount that one instance when they met Dalai Lama/ Narendra Modi/ some Hollywood superstar etc.
10. Make at least one appearance on The Kapil Sharma Show and hear/make stupid jokes which make Navjot Singh Sidhu laugh his heart out.
11. Final and necessary — Pay TOI to promote some ‘hot Instagram photos of the heroine that is breaking the internet’.

Now sit back, relax and watch your efforts churn out some magic numbers at the box office.

 

 Lack of Originality – Bollywood Tropes

This probably comprises all of the things that one is tired of seeing in Bollywood movies.

• Nepotism
• Recycled plots
• Terrible CGI
• Horrendous plotlines
• Horrendous dialogues
• Renamed famous titles
• Re-mixed versions of iconic songs.
• Rap songs and their fascination with alcohol, drugs and treating women as objects.

Well, the list could go on and on…

I’m not belittling all the movies. I’m not saying that all the Bollywood films are bad. Sometimes the target audience demands such movies. Other times, the budgetary constraints could force producers to go with bad CGI. Same is the case with all the movie industries across the globe. Even Hollywood has its fair share of dumb comedies which no one speaks about. But I personally feel that the one thing which Bollywood lacks (compared to Hollywood or even southern film industries) is Originality. Lack of original stories and scripts is evident and as long as the recycled stories keep on minting them money, the studios won’t bat an eye as to how other film industries are progressing.

So, now that you know how to successfully make a Bollywood movie which is guaranteed to enter the 100 Crore Club, will you try to make one or instead try to create something original and innovative?

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Source: Quora

Sometimes you come across an article on the internet which is too good to not be shared. I came across one such article while surfing Quora. I just added a few points; the rest is from this Quoran.