When Irrfan Khan Spoofed Bollywood’s Item Numbers and Laid Waste to its Incorrigible Habit of Mediocrity – Every Bollywood Party Song
Every Bollywood Party Song – starring Irrfan Khan
Sahabzade Irfan Ali Khan, better known as Irrfan Khan, is one of the most talented actors in Bollywood right now. Starting his career in the mid-80s, Irrfan struggled hard to establish himself as a serious actor. His hard work finally paid off decades later, his natural acting coupled with his versatile style has propelled him to the top of Bollywood’s food chain. He is, without a doubt, one of the finest actors India has ever produced.
His powerful performances in Mabool, Paan Singh Tomar, The Lunchbox etc. were critically acclaimed and because of his remarkable acting prowess, Irrfan has become a fan-favourite with the Indian audience. So, it comes as no surprise to anyone that he has been honoured with a slew of awards for his outstanding performances – a National Film Award, an Asian Film Award, three International Indian Film Academy Awards, and three Filmfare Awards among other various international honours.
Forget the Khan Trinity and the Kapoor Khandaan, Irrfan Khan is the undisputed King of Bollywood right now (acting wise). Irrfan Khan has done more to uplift the mediocre standards of the Indian Film Industry than most of the Bollywood actors out there today. He has taken on every imaginable role Bollywood had to offer and excelled in it and has even played supporting roles in many Hollywood blockbusters like Slumdog Millionaire, Life of Pi, Jurassic World, The Amazing Spider-Man, Inferno etc.
But, there was still one thing that Irrfan had never done – star in Bollywood’s most favourite type of mediocrity – an item song.
Every Bollywood Party Song – AIB and Irrfan Khan Make an Item Song
Since Irrfan had never done an item song before, he decided to tick it off his bucket list. Partnering up with AIB (All India Bakchod), Irrfan finally did an item number called Every Bollywood Party Song, which went viral on YouTube upon its release. This year, Irrfan has teamed up with AIB for a web series conceptualised and produced by AIB. It’s an Amazon India’s original series titled The Ministry, and will be releasing this year. The series will be a satire in which Irrfan will play a self-obsessed Bollywood actor who’s appointed as the cultural minister.
For Every Bollywood Party Song, Irrfan ditches his image as a serious actor and boogies with scantily clad women in a humorous spoof on party songs of Bollywood. The song details every trope that Bollywood has ever used to incite the audience and mocks its musicians for their over-the-top lyrics, uninspired tunes and the clichéd use of misogyny in their songs.
The video reimagines Irrfan Khan as a fictionalised version of himself who is quite haughty and bigheaded. The clip starts with Irrfan, his assistant and the members of AIB sitting in a café. Irrfan’s assistant receives a call from someone called ‘Christee’, who, we are informed, is supposed to be Christopher Nolan. After finishing the call, his assistant starts bragging about Irrfan’s acting prowess and his ability to do anything.
Irrfan, fiddling with his smartphone, also chips into the conversation saying, “I can do anything”. When the AIB members point out that Irrfan has done a lot of things in cinema, but has never done a party song (item number) till date, Irrfan feels slighted by the insinuation and accepts their challenge.
Every Bollywood Party Song – Why It’s So Good
The video is hilarious and the lyrics are spot on. Read the lyrics and tell me it’s not the best spoof of Bollywood item numbers ever:
Same old party song
Stupid party song
Clichéd party song
Same old sh*t let’s sing along
Jab 100 crore kamane ho
Just make a party video
Autotune ka patch laga ke
Lyrics kuch aise likhwa do
Pehle catchy line
Phir se wahi line
Repeated several times
Till it gets stuck in your mind
Beat ke saath taali maaro
Gaane mein daaru daalo
Bartender ka swag dikha ke
Chaar panch hot ladki chipka do
Random dancing shot
Same shot from the top
Why is everyone hot
Camera guy is high on pot
Sunn lo film ke writer saalo
Jitna bhi tum plot bana lo
Bikegi picture iss gaane pe
Talent apni g**nd mein daalo
Koi popular actor lo
20 saal choti actress lo
Tharki sa step kara ke
Laundo se theatre bharwa lo
Sponsor! ka close-up lo
Faltu! ka jump karo
Six pack! ko flash karo
Aur rapper ki entry karwa lo
Act like black guys
We’ll act like black guys
Even though we’re really racist
When we see them in real life
Obligatory rap portion hota hai har gaane mein, Achaa?
Desi accent maaru taaki hit ho Haryaane mein
Ab hum pe bhi laundiyaan mast haath ghumaayegi
Camera cut hote hi meri aukaat dikh jayegi
Ab extras karenge shots
Aur bar pe aag lag jayegi
Iss rap ke aakhri line pe
Beat ruk jayegi
Kaafi flashy lights
Some chick’s hair is flying
Location change time
Now we’re at the pool side
Lyrics screen pe aayengi
Kuch mahilaein nahaayengi
Aur mahilaein nahaayengi
Sab mahilaein nahaayengi
Ab ye gaana bajega
Shaadiyon mein bajegaa
Annual day pe bajegaa
Aur maiyyat pe bhi bajegaa
Let’s objectify
Misogyny is fine
And now for no good reason
Bikini pillow fight
Bottles! jerk off karo
Ladki! pe spray karo
Kyunki! yeh gaana hai
Censors will let it go
Janta catchphrase gayegi
Ringtone isse baayegi
Illegal download karke
Phir chhe rupaye bachaayegi
Hum 100 crore kamayenge
Procuder bhi m**hiyange
Iss gaane ki remix karke
Phir se gandh machayenge
Party all night
Party on my mind
Chaar baj gaye lekin afterparty ho jati hai
Where’s the party tonight
I wanna hangover tonight
G**nd mein dum hai toh bandh karva lo
Facebook pe tum like karo
Youtube pe subscribe karo
Neechey chhodke tum bhi
Lukhi public se lado
Phir website isse uthayengi
Sponsored posts banayengi
Clickbait wali headline deke
Tumse click karaayengi..!!
Every Bollywood Party Song – Watch the Video Here
When Irrfan Khan does something, he always makes sure to stand out from the crowd. This is no different; everything we hate about Bollywood and its mediocrity has been sharply addressed here.
Finally, someone in the industry had the balls to tell the truth for what it is.
Kudos!
Let us know your opinion of the song. Leave your comments below!
The Idiot's Corner 
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